It’s funny…. I always assumed that if I EVER got under 90kgs, you would instantly notice a difference in me. When 90kgs came and went, I changed that mindset to 85kgs, surely by that time I’d look like a whole new person.
I’m still just under that.. sitting at 84.8kgs so far, yet I’m not feeling any different. Jason is good about it, being supportive, telling me that HE notices – and since he’s the person that sees the most of me (literally!) I do think his opinion matters. But I have a harder judge to please… myself! This time, I have it in my head that it must be 80kgs where the changes magically take place. If I get to 80kgs, I’ll look a million bucks.
I guess I’m just worried that in order to actually LOOK different, and BE a different size, I’ll need to get to some unattainable goal, like 60kgs or something – and that scares the shit out of me. There’s no way I could ever get to that, it’s just.. heck. I weighed 60kgs when I was in primary school. Call me paranoid.. that’s okay. I’ll take it. But I’m just starting to worry.
